Off topic: Homemade Garlic Awesome Alfredo Sauce

Ah, memories of my childhood, sitting at my grandma's table and ---

Just kidding, here's the recipe

1/2 cup butter or substitute (I use I Can't Believe It's Vegan)
1 pint heavy cream
1 small chopped white onion (optional)
7 ounces garlic chive cream cheese (or any other flavor if you prefer - though strawberry cream cheese may be a choice that would cause your loved ones to question your sanity and kitchen competence.)
7 ounces of grated Parmesan/Romano/Asiago cheese (personal preferences, yo) Deli fresh or bagged preferred. If you use the Parm stuff from a can it will be so dry that you'll likely experience an out of body experience that will drop you on the surface of Arakis.
1 tspn ground black pepper
1 tspn dried italian seasoning, if you're feeling extra italian

Warm the butter over low to medium heat. Once it's melted feel free to throw in some onions. Saute for 2 to 4 minutes if you add the onion.

Pour in heavy cream. DON'T BOIL ANY OF THIS OR THE WORLD WILL END!

Add in your cream cheese. It's going to take a while for it to soften and melt. Be patient, stir fairly frequently. Put the phone down and pay attention to what you're doing so it doesn't boil! (see comment above)

Once the cream cheese is melted add in your pepper and italian seasonings (optional.) Stir it all together.

Add in the Parmesan cheese or cheese blend, slowly stirring it in. Again, it's going to require patience while it all melts.

Yes, the heat is low but boiling this mess will result in your alfredo separating and then congealing into a tasty brick once it cools.

Total time: 20 - 25 minutes (15 if you want a ruined sauce, 30 if you're overly cautious.)

Cook up your favorite pasta and pour the sauce over. I recommend cheese tortellini.

Put leftover sauce in a container that seals and refrigerate. Will remain good for up to one week if stored properly. Simply reheat in microwave for roughly 1 minute per cup used.

Serving size for the above recipe is however much you feel like stuffing in your belly. Go on, treat yo' self!

Enjoy!