The Long Run

Last night I was listening to that classic Eagles album while tweaking my outline for the second act of Maestra. It seemed incredibly appropriate. This book is twice as long as my last and it feels like the second draft has stretched on for a long time now. Most writers would view being nearly 70,000 words into a draft as nearing the home stretch. I may be halfway through this draft. The more I write in it the more convinced I am that the word count at the end of this draft will be in the neighborhood of 135,000 to 145,000 words. 

Between drafts I began re-writing my outline for the second act. There were a lot of things that worked well but there were also a lot of empty space and things that seemed to fall flat. So, even as I am now 20,000 words into part two of the second draft , I am still redoing the outline for it every few days. It's not a mess, but it is certainly a form of controlled chaos. 

When I began this project I knew from the outline that it was going to be much broader in scope than The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett, but I felt it was a tale that could be contained in 100,000 to 110,000 words. As the first draft progressed I quickly realized that these characters really needed room to spread their wings and come to life. I even pondered breaking the entire story down into three separate novels but I have to be honest -- that feels ridiculously pretentious for someone who is working on their second novel. 

So, here I am, listening to the Eagles in the twilight of their original run sounding tired and worn out from the journey. My characters are certainly at the point in their story where events have taken a toll on all of them, and the writer of their tale is feeling pretty weary, as well. I'm looking forward to finishing this draft (hopefully by the end of July) and taking a break before editing. 

They say that good art comes from negativity and boy is there enough of that in the world right now. It would be nice to think that any part of the bleakness in the world can be used for something positive right now.

The Misconception of What Independently Published Means

In my journey as an author I have encountered very few stigmas with the trade, save for one -- and it is perpetuated within the writing community, itself. What is an Independently published book?

It's also known as Self-Publish.

For me, the first thought goes back to an old episode of the sitcom Night Court from the 1980s in which a character had a book published that was ridiculous and hideously terrible. It was a punchline in the episode. The impression of what Self-Publishing meant formed in my young head in that moment. Ever since childhood I carried around this presumption that anything independently published must be terrible.

I was really mistaken. I never realized so many authors were self (or independently) published. Hemingway, Jane Austen, Andy Weir, and many others have not only written critically and commercially successful independent books -- but their stories have also enthralled us on the big screen as well.

Unfortunately, a tribal mentality forms within the arts. Independent filmmakers are crapped on by the larger studios and those who operate within them. Likewise, independent authors are similarly crapped on by traditional publishing companies and, sometimes, the authors and editors within them.

The truth is that so many wonderful stories are lost to the void because people won't pick up an independent book because there is a presumption that the story or writing is too terrible to warrant being published by a large house imprint. What these people don't realize is that many authors independently publish books for the same reason that independent filmmakers make their movies the way that they do: It's all about retaining control of your own vision.

Many authors are unwilling to make concessions that they feel will utterly break their stories, just for the hope of making more money from a mass appeal factor. I had some experience with this while shopping around The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett. I had an agent who was interested in my book but wanted me to make several changes. They didn't like the concept of an adult oriented horror story. They thought it would sell better if I toned down the violence, made the characters younger, and threw in a new love interest to divide them. It would put my book in the category of Young Adult and gain more traction that way.

The feedback felt like a knife in my skull. My whole intention behind writing that book the way I did was to appeal to adult fans of the horror genre. In my humble opinion the YA market is absolutely flooded with cliched stories such as what this agent wanted me to provide. I wanted to write something different, something that could become part of an arc that crossed genres and brought something a bit refreshing and original to the table. That was when I learned that traditional publishing companies aren't interested in fresh and original so much as what will sell and sell quick.

So, I went independent. What is the difference? I've had to do my own promotion, work hard to make sure that I connect with potential readers -- including answering questions and concerns from potential readers who are curious what is in the book. I have had to set up my own critical reviews (which I have failed at miserably -- but it's a learning curve.) There is no advance for writing, but there is no one to pay back, either. I get to keep a much larger portion of my proceeds than a traditionally published author. So who wins? For the authors it is pretty much a wash. For the readers, it is a victory because it brings so much more choice to market.

If you have snubbed a self or independently published book, in the past, I highly recommend that you give a few a try. You may find some that aren't great -- but you will certainly find that with some traditionally published books, as well. What you will find in independently published books is the author's true vision, the intact story that they meant to tell -- not diluted for market saturation. There are incredible books out there, just waiting to be discovered!

The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett. Only 99 cents on Kindle, or $12.99 in beautiful matte finished paperback with gentle-on-the-eyes cream colored paper.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

Writer Interrupted

I honestly felt like I was back on track with my writing over the past couple of weeks. I mean, I don't think motivation is my problem right now but a furry little monkey wrench was tossed into the process yesterday afternoon.

My 4 year old was playing in the front yard when he stepped on a bee and got stung in the bottom of the foot. As luck would have it we couldn't find our antibacterial ointment. So, my wife left to drive up to the local dollar store to pick some up. About five minutes later she opened the door and called for me to help her.

I had been in the middle of relaxing with a paint by number beach scene for our cottage and sweating through my shorts on a 95 degree day when I heard the commotion. I got up and saw my wife holding a kitten. It had been on the hot pavement at a 4 way stop in the downtown area of our rural farm town. She was panicked and the kitten was bug-eyed and wild. She wasn't having any of it. Little baby tiger girl had a bad limp, conjunctivitis in her eyes, and a bloated belly. It didn't take long to realize that she was likely part of a feral litter a block from where my wife had found her. 

Now, caring for feral cats is great but PLEASE try to work with your veterinarian on a trap/neuter or spay/release plan to cut down on the likelihood of neglected kittens getting thwacked by traffic on busy roads. This little girl was lucky and, though we know where she likely came from, we won't be returning her to live outdoors and wild. 

She was maybe 7 weeks old. Her eyes are transitioning to their adult color and she immediately went to the food bowl. Within an hour she was welcoming pets and by the evening wanting to snuggle. Feral kittens this young tame quickly. It helped that the moment she came into the house our 14 year old ginger turkish van welcomed her, showing her the food bowl. 

By this morning she has already litter trained and made peace with the other cats. 

My poor wife had the little girl at the vet until 11pm last night, getting xrays on her hip and leg. Fortunately nothing is broken and she was sent home with dewormer and antibiotic. We both slept like crap, still stressed from the day and wondering if our other cats would rough her up overnight.

They were all fine this morning. When things get too hectic young Arabella (named after the protagonist in my forthcoming novel, Maestra) hides beneath the television stand for a few moments until things quiet down. Her limp isn't as bad and she enjoys playing with toys -- both her own and my 4 year old's, much to his chagrin. 

Life will slowly return to a new normal, but for a couple of days it probably means no writing. I didn't have time as I was tending to a concerned 4 year old who couldn't understand why mommy wasn't home to tuck him in last night. Today I am groggy after maybe 2 or 3 hours of sleep last night, wondering if baby was going to hold her own in our house or find a way to injure herself with a house full of fun and potentially fatal toys!

Just when the ducks are in a row, one waddles away again. So I am spending a couple of days just ushering them back into place while Mango, Clarysse, and Coal adapt to sharing their home with hyper little Ari. 

In the end the journey will resume. Sometimes life gets in the way...as it should!

Finding My Voice as a Writer

One year ago I was wrapping up the final draft of The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett. I thoroughly loved writing the story but it was also one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. In my life I have written hundreds of short stories, essays, poems, but for my first published work I decided to write in first person for the first time -- not only in first person, but in the form of journal entries. Oh, holy crap was that a choice.

In the end it all worked but for months I labored to strike a balance between telling the story and showing the events through the character's eyes. In order to present it with a proper believability I had to restrain myself from describing things in too much detail, limiting what was shown to what the main character could possibly know or understand. During the course of the story he gradually succumbs to oppression and other factors that deteriorate his mental faculties until we're left with a story that has a number of loose ends.

In feedback and reviews I have had plenty of questions about these loose ends. My answer is, that there are more stories to be told within this universe that began with David Bennett's tale. He is just a small part of a world that will continue to expand over many novels. The other books aren't necessarily sequels or prequels but take place within the same universe and occasionally characters from one book will find themselves with roles in others. 

The storytelling will also evolve. 

In Maestra we will see a few familiar faces from The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett, but this isn't necessarily their story. This one belongs to new characters who are the focus of the events within. The perspective has also changed. I have traded first person for third person perspective in order to tell this tale properly. We have left the pure closed quarters paranormal horror behind and are venturing into a dynamic new world with fluid characters. Maestra is much more dark fantasy than horror, although there will be plenty of chilling events to freeze the soul within its binding.

I just finished the second draft of part one of three. It grew about 11,000 words from the first. The complete first draft of Maestra (then Maestri) was 105,000 words. It is safe to say that this draft will be anywhere from 130,000 to 150,000 words. A lot of elements are changing along the way. Some things that I thought would work in the first draft just didn't click by the end. Also, I came up with a few new ideas to incorporate before starting the second draft and I wanted to fit them in. Those things, along with fleshing out characters, locations, and events will lead to a hefty word count. I don't expect editing to knock the count back all that much.

So things are plopping along, a bit slowly, but they are happening. Hopefully I will have part two done by the end of June, or early July. Ideally I would love to have edits wrapped up in September.

In the meanwhile, The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett is only 99 cents, right now, on Kindle or FREE with Kindle Unlimited. The paperback is also beautiful and would look wonderful in any physical collection. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

I hope you join me on the ground floor of this epic new universe, filled with things both wondrous and horrific.

Life Hack: Cheap Dinner for the Whole Family

This is an off topic post. Usually I blog about writing but occasionally I love to throw a curve ball out there.

I saw a discussion about cheap meal options for families amid this crisis and wanted to share a dish that I have been making for years. Cheap and tasty.

Pasta Bake.

1 box (12 ounce to 16 ounce) any kind of pasta noodles that tickle your whatsit
1 8 ounce bag of shredded cheese (or you can shred your own if that's your jam. I prefer cheddar for this)
3 cloves of diced garlic
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon dried italian seasoning
1 26 ounce can of tomato soup (or 2 regular sized cans if your wrists need the extra exercise.)

Cook up the pasta as directed.

Drain and stir in the tomato soup.

Stir in the diced garlic, seasonings, and pepper

add in 1/2 cup of cheese and mix in

put in an oven safe pan -- around 9 x 13 in size or something similar.

Cover with the remaining cheese from the bag

Bake at 400 degrees for right around 10 minutes.

Voila!

This entire meal can feed about 4 people, or 2 really hungry ones for roughly $5-$7, depending on whether you buy store brand ingredients or not.

Hope you enjoyed this.

Buy my book:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

It's Been How Long?!

I woke up this morning feeling a bit scruffy and thought to myself, well it's been a good week since I shaved. Look in the mirror and realized I look like Sasquatch's slightly furrier cousin. Wow. Time has gotten away from me lately. Or, to phrase it more correctly, Time has become completely meaningless.

Here in Michigan we're on week 9 of our lock down. I'm not getting into politics of it because we're in uncharted territory and it is what it is. I'm a good boy and try to do my part.

It's like the world ended on Saint Patrick's Day, though. Even the weather feels pretty much like it did in mid March. Spring has yet to arrive here. It's all coming together to create the perfect illusion that time has actually stopped. After I realized that it's now mid May I had to double check all of my bills to make sure I hadn't let anything lapse in recent weeks.

I also realized exactly how far behind I am on my writing. I wanted to be in edits by the beginning of June. Not going to happen. I'm about 25% of the way through draft 2 and can't imagine that I will be finished with this draft until July. So, my plan is to have this book finished by October now. I'm not going to rush it.

Could I even tell if I am rushing it? It feels like I have lost the ability to measure any kind of progress in my life. It's a bit like being a kid again. Every day felt the same back then, too. I wonder how my four year old is perceiving all of this. It feels like we just had his birthday (which unfortunately happened during all of this) and then I realize it was over a month and a half ago.

Anyone else out there suffering from Pandemic Induced Dementia?

Oh, well. It's just another day in paradise...at least I think it's another day?

Also, if you're bored or like scary stuff - only 99 cents now or free on Kindle Unlimited:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

Growth and Reflection

It's been half a year since the release of The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett. I can't believe it's been that long, actually closer to seven months now. It's also bee roughly six months since I began my current work in progress.

So much has changed with the world, and my perspective on it since my debut released into the world. I have learned how to appreciate criticism without letting it devastate me. I have also learned to discern what qualifies as criticism versus knit picking or tearing down. I also have learned to appreciate that people will have very different reactions to my work depending on their own philosophy. It should have been obvious to begin with, but I was singularly focused and pretty obliviously obtuse about what life as an author is really like.

In the best moments it has been overwhelming, uplifting, vindicating, and just pure fun.

In the worst moments it has been frustrating, draining, humbling, and downright devastating.

You know what, though? I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My writing routine looks a lot different than it did a year ago. Back then I was struggling to find time to write amid a busy life as a work from home dad. Then, when I started drafting my current novel I had more scheduled time and it flowed much better. Now, I have time, support, but I also have extended periods of malaise as a direct result of the pandemic sweeping across the globe. It all makes life feel rather pointless, these days. Some days are better than others. I went from a pace that allowed me to complete the first draft of my current work in four months to being stuck in the first act of the second draft for the past two months.

So, what have I learned about the journey of being a writer, so far? It's not just a job or a career -- it's a lifestyle. It's a complete immersion into a new way of existing...and unless you can handle wear and tear, physically and mentally, it's going to wear you down like a jagged stone in a river. A year ago I was a very jagged rock. Now I'm but a humble little pebble who has learned to let the current flow around me without sweeping me away with it.