Writer Interrupted

I honestly felt like I was back on track with my writing over the past couple of weeks. I mean, I don't think motivation is my problem right now but a furry little monkey wrench was tossed into the process yesterday afternoon.

My 4 year old was playing in the front yard when he stepped on a bee and got stung in the bottom of the foot. As luck would have it we couldn't find our antibacterial ointment. So, my wife left to drive up to the local dollar store to pick some up. About five minutes later she opened the door and called for me to help her.

I had been in the middle of relaxing with a paint by number beach scene for our cottage and sweating through my shorts on a 95 degree day when I heard the commotion. I got up and saw my wife holding a kitten. It had been on the hot pavement at a 4 way stop in the downtown area of our rural farm town. She was panicked and the kitten was bug-eyed and wild. She wasn't having any of it. Little baby tiger girl had a bad limp, conjunctivitis in her eyes, and a bloated belly. It didn't take long to realize that she was likely part of a feral litter a block from where my wife had found her. 

Now, caring for feral cats is great but PLEASE try to work with your veterinarian on a trap/neuter or spay/release plan to cut down on the likelihood of neglected kittens getting thwacked by traffic on busy roads. This little girl was lucky and, though we know where she likely came from, we won't be returning her to live outdoors and wild. 

She was maybe 7 weeks old. Her eyes are transitioning to their adult color and she immediately went to the food bowl. Within an hour she was welcoming pets and by the evening wanting to snuggle. Feral kittens this young tame quickly. It helped that the moment she came into the house our 14 year old ginger turkish van welcomed her, showing her the food bowl. 

By this morning she has already litter trained and made peace with the other cats. 

My poor wife had the little girl at the vet until 11pm last night, getting xrays on her hip and leg. Fortunately nothing is broken and she was sent home with dewormer and antibiotic. We both slept like crap, still stressed from the day and wondering if our other cats would rough her up overnight.

They were all fine this morning. When things get too hectic young Arabella (named after the protagonist in my forthcoming novel, Maestra) hides beneath the television stand for a few moments until things quiet down. Her limp isn't as bad and she enjoys playing with toys -- both her own and my 4 year old's, much to his chagrin. 

Life will slowly return to a new normal, but for a couple of days it probably means no writing. I didn't have time as I was tending to a concerned 4 year old who couldn't understand why mommy wasn't home to tuck him in last night. Today I am groggy after maybe 2 or 3 hours of sleep last night, wondering if baby was going to hold her own in our house or find a way to injure herself with a house full of fun and potentially fatal toys!

Just when the ducks are in a row, one waddles away again. So I am spending a couple of days just ushering them back into place while Mango, Clarysse, and Coal adapt to sharing their home with hyper little Ari. 

In the end the journey will resume. Sometimes life gets in the way...as it should!

Finding My Voice as a Writer

One year ago I was wrapping up the final draft of The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett. I thoroughly loved writing the story but it was also one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. In my life I have written hundreds of short stories, essays, poems, but for my first published work I decided to write in first person for the first time -- not only in first person, but in the form of journal entries. Oh, holy crap was that a choice.

In the end it all worked but for months I labored to strike a balance between telling the story and showing the events through the character's eyes. In order to present it with a proper believability I had to restrain myself from describing things in too much detail, limiting what was shown to what the main character could possibly know or understand. During the course of the story he gradually succumbs to oppression and other factors that deteriorate his mental faculties until we're left with a story that has a number of loose ends.

In feedback and reviews I have had plenty of questions about these loose ends. My answer is, that there are more stories to be told within this universe that began with David Bennett's tale. He is just a small part of a world that will continue to expand over many novels. The other books aren't necessarily sequels or prequels but take place within the same universe and occasionally characters from one book will find themselves with roles in others. 

The storytelling will also evolve. 

In Maestra we will see a few familiar faces from The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett, but this isn't necessarily their story. This one belongs to new characters who are the focus of the events within. The perspective has also changed. I have traded first person for third person perspective in order to tell this tale properly. We have left the pure closed quarters paranormal horror behind and are venturing into a dynamic new world with fluid characters. Maestra is much more dark fantasy than horror, although there will be plenty of chilling events to freeze the soul within its binding.

I just finished the second draft of part one of three. It grew about 11,000 words from the first. The complete first draft of Maestra (then Maestri) was 105,000 words. It is safe to say that this draft will be anywhere from 130,000 to 150,000 words. A lot of elements are changing along the way. Some things that I thought would work in the first draft just didn't click by the end. Also, I came up with a few new ideas to incorporate before starting the second draft and I wanted to fit them in. Those things, along with fleshing out characters, locations, and events will lead to a hefty word count. I don't expect editing to knock the count back all that much.

So things are plopping along, a bit slowly, but they are happening. Hopefully I will have part two done by the end of June, or early July. Ideally I would love to have edits wrapped up in September.

In the meanwhile, The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett is only 99 cents, right now, on Kindle or FREE with Kindle Unlimited. The paperback is also beautiful and would look wonderful in any physical collection. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

I hope you join me on the ground floor of this epic new universe, filled with things both wondrous and horrific.

Life Hack: Cheap Dinner for the Whole Family

This is an off topic post. Usually I blog about writing but occasionally I love to throw a curve ball out there.

I saw a discussion about cheap meal options for families amid this crisis and wanted to share a dish that I have been making for years. Cheap and tasty.

Pasta Bake.

1 box (12 ounce to 16 ounce) any kind of pasta noodles that tickle your whatsit
1 8 ounce bag of shredded cheese (or you can shred your own if that's your jam. I prefer cheddar for this)
3 cloves of diced garlic
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon dried italian seasoning
1 26 ounce can of tomato soup (or 2 regular sized cans if your wrists need the extra exercise.)

Cook up the pasta as directed.

Drain and stir in the tomato soup.

Stir in the diced garlic, seasonings, and pepper

add in 1/2 cup of cheese and mix in

put in an oven safe pan -- around 9 x 13 in size or something similar.

Cover with the remaining cheese from the bag

Bake at 400 degrees for right around 10 minutes.

Voila!

This entire meal can feed about 4 people, or 2 really hungry ones for roughly $5-$7, depending on whether you buy store brand ingredients or not.

Hope you enjoyed this.

Buy my book:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

It's Been How Long?!

I woke up this morning feeling a bit scruffy and thought to myself, well it's been a good week since I shaved. Look in the mirror and realized I look like Sasquatch's slightly furrier cousin. Wow. Time has gotten away from me lately. Or, to phrase it more correctly, Time has become completely meaningless.

Here in Michigan we're on week 9 of our lock down. I'm not getting into politics of it because we're in uncharted territory and it is what it is. I'm a good boy and try to do my part.

It's like the world ended on Saint Patrick's Day, though. Even the weather feels pretty much like it did in mid March. Spring has yet to arrive here. It's all coming together to create the perfect illusion that time has actually stopped. After I realized that it's now mid May I had to double check all of my bills to make sure I hadn't let anything lapse in recent weeks.

I also realized exactly how far behind I am on my writing. I wanted to be in edits by the beginning of June. Not going to happen. I'm about 25% of the way through draft 2 and can't imagine that I will be finished with this draft until July. So, my plan is to have this book finished by October now. I'm not going to rush it.

Could I even tell if I am rushing it? It feels like I have lost the ability to measure any kind of progress in my life. It's a bit like being a kid again. Every day felt the same back then, too. I wonder how my four year old is perceiving all of this. It feels like we just had his birthday (which unfortunately happened during all of this) and then I realize it was over a month and a half ago.

Anyone else out there suffering from Pandemic Induced Dementia?

Oh, well. It's just another day in paradise...at least I think it's another day?

Also, if you're bored or like scary stuff - only 99 cents now or free on Kindle Unlimited:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

Growth and Reflection

It's been half a year since the release of The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett. I can't believe it's been that long, actually closer to seven months now. It's also bee roughly six months since I began my current work in progress.

So much has changed with the world, and my perspective on it since my debut released into the world. I have learned how to appreciate criticism without letting it devastate me. I have also learned to discern what qualifies as criticism versus knit picking or tearing down. I also have learned to appreciate that people will have very different reactions to my work depending on their own philosophy. It should have been obvious to begin with, but I was singularly focused and pretty obliviously obtuse about what life as an author is really like.

In the best moments it has been overwhelming, uplifting, vindicating, and just pure fun.

In the worst moments it has been frustrating, draining, humbling, and downright devastating.

You know what, though? I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My writing routine looks a lot different than it did a year ago. Back then I was struggling to find time to write amid a busy life as a work from home dad. Then, when I started drafting my current novel I had more scheduled time and it flowed much better. Now, I have time, support, but I also have extended periods of malaise as a direct result of the pandemic sweeping across the globe. It all makes life feel rather pointless, these days. Some days are better than others. I went from a pace that allowed me to complete the first draft of my current work in four months to being stuck in the first act of the second draft for the past two months.

So, what have I learned about the journey of being a writer, so far? It's not just a job or a career -- it's a lifestyle. It's a complete immersion into a new way of existing...and unless you can handle wear and tear, physically and mentally, it's going to wear you down like a jagged stone in a river. A year ago I was a very jagged rock. Now I'm but a humble little pebble who has learned to let the current flow around me without sweeping me away with it.

The New Normal

I can't believe that we are settling in to our new routine. Either the human mind is incredibly adaptive or we have all simply accepted our insanity. Here in Michigan we have been under a stay at home order since the middle of March -- nearing the six week mark. It just got extended until May 15th. Personally, while I understand it and endorse it I would be utterly mad if it wasn't affecting me. My family goes through strange days where things feel normal for a while and then someone will end up breaking down. Early on I was handling it poorly. I think I've mostly settled into an at least even-keeled attitude over the past few weeks.

My writing is still a victim in all of this. I tend to write every other day. Sometimes the inspiration just isn't there and I can't force it. Yesterday I sat down to write but there was too much else going on around here and I only got about 400 words out, and most of those will need to be re-written. I'm around 22,000 words into the 2nd draft of Maestra.

It is going to be good, once done. I will be happy to set it free unto the world. After that, I will be glad to be done with this fantasy/horror universe that I created for a while. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with these first two novels and I think readers will be surprised at the twisting linkage between the two. Maestra isn't so much a sequel as simply taking place in the same universe and utilizing some of the same characters to bring closure to their arcs. Writing this story has wrenched my heart and I have a lot of negative emotions from my experience of the world around me while writing Maestra. Again, the work is good. It's fresh, original, and a bit epic in scope compared to The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett -- but everything going on around me has soured me on the pure horror genre for the time being.

I have no doubt that I will return to writing horror in a year or two. I have several stories outlined and ready to go.

My next project will be science fiction. It will be bleak, dark (quite literally,) and actually include a bit of hope -- which my horror writing lacks. Basically, writing so much darkness while going through such a dark time in the history of human-kind, isn't good for my mental health. When the sun comes out from behind the corona (pun intended,) and I can once more interact with friends without a screen between us, I will return to writing horror.

So, with any luck, draft two of Maestra will wrap by the end of June at the pace that I am working on. I am planning to take my time with edits and any additional re-writes. So if it is out by September or October I will be happy. Maybe next year there will even be some book signings in my future.

Hope everyone is staying safe and keeping their loved ones as near as possible. Take care.

_______________
Reduced to 99 cents on Kindle, read The Morbid Fascinations of David Bennett before the epic continuation releases this Fall: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1701845431

Living Through This

It's been more weeks than I can count since anything seemed normal. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about dealing with the depression that comes along with living under a stay at home order. I understand it, I support it, but it is rough. It hasn't felt any more normal as time passes, either.

I hit a point where I couldn't come back after I finished the first draft of Maestra. I took less than two weeks off, but when I sat down to write again it was emotionless. My writing voice was gone. It wasn't because my talent had suddenly slipped away in the middle of the night. It was because my heart wasn't into it. My heart wasn't into anything any longer. I couldn't settle in to work on anything. All I kept doing was checking the news to see if anything was real.

I forced myself to write in small chunks, and eventually I rebounded to being back into my story. Some days still suck, and more than once I have had to walk away from the draft for a couple of days. I'm never going to forget the struggle I am having with getting this story formed and typed out. I'm a very linear writer, going from A to B in the most direct path. Taking breaks, for my own mental health, only makes me feel worse. I feel like I am getting behind on some made up schedule that never existed in the first place.

Breathe.

It's going to be okay.

Most likely...as long as I stay away from people and remember my mask when I'm in public.

Breathe again.

Each day is its own little universe right now.

If you are reading this and feeling broken or defeated, know that you aren't alone. This isn't coming from some Hollywood star sitting in a mansion. This is coming from a very sympathetic writer seated at a folding craft table where he spends most of his time either writing or on art projects to pass the endless days until society resumes.

We will get there. We have to believe that.

Take care of yourself and I'll see you all when the sun comes out from behind the clouds.